The Greatest Pizza Joint in St. Andrews

Edition No. 39 | October 27, 2023

Hey,

One quick note on Normal Sport 3 (our book that drops in about a month) that I’m excited about and also maybe a little bit scared of but I ultimately think will be good and beneficial for you the reader: It’s going to be much shorter than the first two.

Instead of a comprehensive look at every detail and every quote from the year (most of which you already lived) I am basically just giving you my 150-200 thoughts on what happened in 2023 with a retrospective look at the season. The result is a 100-125ish page book, which fits into my “all books should be half the length they are” theory.

This is scary for me because it’s easier to be detailed than it is to be thoughtful, but it will make reading less arduous and more fun. Our plan is to offer four variations of the book: regular PDF (buy this one if you want us to make the most money!), paperback on Amazon, Kindle on Amazon and an audiobook.

We’re under the understanding (shout out Phil) that this means international shipping will be available, which is great news for Viktor if he’s still in Norway and wants to read it. Also holding that idea loosely because Bezos might, like, buy Microsoft or something and have to cut some costs at Amazon.

Regardless, we’re coming.

Onto the news.

One Thing I Loved Was Amused By

What if, the day after the 2022 PGA Championship at Southern Hills, I would have told you that a man named Mal Baker would make enough money to rank inside the top 50 and ahead of Justin Thomas on the PGA Tour money list in 2023. You obviously would have said, Well who is Mal Baker and how good did he play to assume such a position? Is he from Australia? Is he toiling on the Sunshine Tour? Did the Saudi International purse increase to $100M?

Mal Baker, it turns out, is Talor Gooch’s caddie.

And while Mal Baker didn’t hit a shot on the PGA Tour in 2023, he ostensibly did make more money than Justin Thomas, who made a little over $3.5 million.

That’s because Mal Baker’s boss made … over $36 million as the highest-earning golfer in the world in 2023.

Here’s the list.

1. Gooch -- $36.2M
2. Hovland -- $33.5M
3. Scheffler -- $26.0M
4. Koepka -- $22.7M
5. Rahm -- $21.2M
6. McIlroy -- $20.3M
7. Smith -- $19.8M
8. Clark -- $17.8M
9. DeChambeau -- $15.7M
10. Schauffele -- $14.9M
11. Homa -- $13.6M
12. Cantlay -- $13.4M
13. Harman -- $11.4M
14. Bradley -- $11.1M
15. Varner III -- $10.1M

Some caveats: This includes money from major championships, all PGA Tour and LIV events in the 2022-23 season, individual year-end bonuses (FedEx and LIV), individual bonuses from the team finish in Miami (LIV) as well as the illustrious Comcast top 10. It does not include money from contracts signed by LIV players, sponsors, PIP (hasn’t dropped yet), European Tour money or Asian Tour money.

Some thoughts.

1. It should not take me an hour to add these numbers up. I’m not even positive they’re all correct because I was on sites with .xyz URLs trying to find all the LIV team data and bonuses. Oh, and the Tour refuses to include any LIV players on its money list even though a lot of them have technically played Tour events (majors) in 2023. And I didn’t even try with the European and Asian Tour stuff. A preposterous undertaking in 2023 and also emblematic of what a weird, messy state golf is in as a whole.

2. The first and last names on the list tell the story. Is there a regular season golf world in which any market can sustain Talor Gooch and Harold Varner III earning nearly $50 million combined in a single year? If the answer is yes, then great, everything is good. If the answer is no, then the presumption is that something has to force this market into a more sustainable state.*

3. I’m curious to see what Gooch would have become in an alternate non-LIV world. How good he could have become by having to figure out how to beat Scheffler, Rahm and Cantlay every week. He’s pretty average off the tee, but the iron game rocks, and his short game is solid. Honestly, kind of a Rickie profile, and it was (I guess still is) all moving in the right direction.

4. There’s a part of me that wants to say, You know what, good for Gooch. He accidentally fell into this league and then he went out and took money off of a bunch of oligarchs who may or may not have a plan. You have to squint to not see the bad in all of it, but the reality is that somebody was going to take advantage of the system, and he played well enough — in a league with Cam Smith, Brooks, Bryson and DJ — to do so.

5. Go back to 2011 and tell yourself than in 12 years, somebody who played the weekend at one of the four majors would also make $36 million playing golf in a single year. That’s almost a third of Tiger’s career non-FedEx earnings, and only $92,880 of it came at the four biggest events.

6. It’s also worth questioning whether Viktor Hovland making $33M in a single year is sustainable for the Tour’s (or any!) business model. It’s pretty easy to see the direction this is going. Guys are getting comfortable making $10M+ and that toothpaste won’t go back in the tube. So the result is going to be either Saudi or private equity money funding the purses and the entire entity laboring to get a return that just isn’t there. You know what that sounds like to me? The entire broadcast is going to be Playing Through. You might have two commercials on Playing Through with the actual golf being show in the PIP screen for five straight hours.

7. I know these guys want to be paid like other athletes, but the value of the league(s) they play in is nowhere near the value of the leagues other athletes play in. If you want to be paid like Mahomes, legitimately bring more viewers to the table and we can talk. Tiger is the only one who could have that conversation over the last 25 years. You can only be paid what your business model allows you to be paid.

8. It is also not unfair to, as Phil said to me on Twitter the other day, question whether the business models of the majors (and Ryder Cup!) imply that players in those tournaments should be paid more than the $15-$20M the field gets.

I’d have to do a deeper dive on it, but whereas the PGA Tour revenue gets redistributed to players at around a 50% clip (a normal sports number), I can’t imagine the major revenue is distributed at a percentage even close to that. Certainly there are other factors to consider — the USGA has to subsidize all its championships with U.S. Open money — but that’s at least an interesting and realistic conversation.

*Unless, of course, this is not a good-faith market (which is a whole other newsletter).

NS3

Thought No. 66 from Normal Sport 3 comes from the Players Championship …

I’ll always believe that instead of going away from Gold Boy, the Tour should have leaned into him. Put him at the Live From desk. Have Jay carry around little mini Gold Boys and hand them out to fans. Stick him everywhere on the property. It’s the kind of very unserious thing that the Tour would never do, but Golf Twitter eats irony for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and it would have been a tremendous wink-wink to everyone looking for something firm to stand on when it comes to defending this organization.

Crooked Golf Media

👉️ This conversation between Ethan Strauss and Chuck Klosterman (which is paywalled) is so, so good. I’m a Klosterman superfan so I’ll listen to anything he’s on, but their discussion on why we care about sports is excellent.

Strauss: “Sports is the business that needs to be more than a business to be a business.” 🤯 

👉️ This deep dive into Nike by Acquired is perfect for a long road trip. I enjoyed every second, and if you’ve read Shoe Dog, you probably will too.

👉️ I also listened to this Acquired episode with Ben Thompson, which is incredible if you care about online content, newsletters, business and how all of those things work together for him.

👉️ I went on the Fried Egg pod with Andy and Bacon, and we talked about five people or entities that had a great 2023 (Mal Baker was one of mine). It was as insane as this clip suggests it would be.

And yes, the 4th grade Dolphins are still undefeated. Many are saying there have only ever been two great Dolphins playcallers — McDaniel and Porter.

👉️ I got invited to the F1 race in Austin last weekend by my hitters over at Alpine. It was an extraordinary experience, and I accomplished my only goal for the day, which was to get a selfie with Guenther Steiner, who may be the only person in sports crazier than Phil. I did a piece for CBSSports.com today about playing some golf with Pierre Gasly.

Spoiler: I think he might be a sicko.

How is This App Free?

Claire completely got me here. I got got. The best pizza joint in St. Andrews.

This is an IYKYK response to my Alpine visit and Guenther selfie and might not make much sense to you. But if you know then you really know.

Thirty-two through thirty-seven.

ChatLIV

Jason Page, who does the wonderful illustrations you see in this newsletter, sent me something he had ChatGPT write about the LIV finale in Miami last weekend. The premise: All of this is so absurd (see money list above) that it would make sense for the coverage of it to be equally absurd. The entire idea as well as the execution made me laugh pretty hard.

Here’s the prompt: Can you write Bryson DeChambeau's winning speech after his team Crushers GC beat the Range Goats at the all-scores-count shootout LIV final at Trump Doral Miami?

And here’s the result …

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow golf enthusiasts, and all those who have supported us on this incredible journey.

Ed. note: I mean … is it that far off?

Today, I stand before you as the captain of Crushers GC, and I am truly humbled by the opportunity to speak on behalf of our team. What an incredible day it has been, right here at Trump Doral Miami, where the LIV Golf all-scores-count shootout reached its thrilling climax.

First and foremost, I want to extend our deepest appreciation to the Range Goats for being fierce competitors. They pushed us to our limits, and their sportsmanship and skill on the course exemplify the spirit of this great game. It was an honor to share the fairways with such an incredible group of golfers.

Ed. note: I think this is where I started howling.

To my teammates, Charles Howell III, Paul Casey, and Anirban Lahiri, you are all nothing short of spectacular. Charles, your steady play and unwavering composure set the tone for our team. Paul, your consistency under pressure was a rock we could lean on. Anirban, your bogey-free round was nothing short of magical, and it provided us with an invaluable boost.

Today, it was a team effort, and it is a true testament to the power of unity and collaboration. In golf, as in life, we face countless challenges, and it's our response to those challenges that define us. Our team embraced the challenge, and we rose to the occasion, understanding that our collective performance would be the key to our success.

In this all-scores-count shootout format, each member's contribution was vital, and it's a testament to our collective resilience and unwavering dedication to the game we love.

I want to thank our incredible fans, both here in the gallery and those watching from afar, for your unwavering support. You were our driving force, and your energy and encouragement propelled us forward.

Ed. note: This is for sure something Bryson would say!

Lastly, I'd like to express my gratitude to the tournament organizers, sponsors, and everyone who makes the LIV Golf Final possible. Your dedication to this sport and the commitment to providing us with this stage to showcase our talents are truly appreciated.

In closing, I want to emphasize that this victory is a testament to the values of golf—integrity, respect, and unwavering dedication to excellence. We played our best, and today, the golfing gods smiled upon us. But remember, in this sport, the journey is as important as the destination.

Thank you, everyone, for being a part of this memorable day at Trump Doral Miami. We are honored to be your champions, and we look forward to many more exciting moments on the golf course in the future.

The Infirmary

More confession time here from another Kyle, who was playing Connections — where you have to match four groups of four words that have commonalities — and began trying to match up the Aces.

I have to admit I actually did the exact same thing with the same puzzle, even going so far as to look for other words in this particular Connections that fit the “Four ________” mold.