I Might be Living With a LIV Troll

Normal Moment(s)

All very routine sports stuff.

1. The Safari

The above photos both depict professional sporting events in which tens of million dollars are at stake. One looks exactly like you would think a professional sporting event in which tens of millions of dollars are at stake would look. The other looks like an Englishman got scammed into paying for “the safari of a lifetime” and the best thing he saw was a rogue lemur.

2. Golf Media in 2023

I enjoyed this tweet from Will because it was very much in my “this cannot be happening” wheelhouse. Here’s the deal, though. The media winners in 2023 either 1. Don’t take themselves too seriously 2. Are in on the joke or 3. Both.

Rory is (obviously) unique in that he’s willing to talk prestige TV with folks who want to talk about it, but this backdoor route to covering a sport is the future.

Does that mean every interaction with players and teams is going to be wink-wink-y like this? No, and it shouldn’t be. But acknowledging the absurdity of the media industry in general by doing an absurd thing like this (that simultaneously shines a light on the thing you are covering!) is where I think a lot of people have found success in their careers.

If you don’t believe me, go look up somebody named Coffeezilla (actual name).

3. Jordan

I honestly have nothing to add other than what I imagine Greller looked like throughout. Basically choose your reaction. Perhaps all of the above.

One Thing I Loved

A moment, quote, sidebar or tidbit I enjoyed thinking about this week.

I wrote last week that this sentence from Rory to NLU changes professional golf: “Honestly, for me, the major championships are the biggest deal, so if the PGA Tour doesn't implement it, I might still play the Model Local Rule ball, because I know that that'll give me the best chance and the best preparation leading into the major championships.”

That sounds dramatic, and perhaps it is, but it does change professional golf.

The talk up to that point had been about how the Tour, which has been kinda feeling itself (in large part to Rory galvanizing everybody around him over the last six months) might stand up to the major organizations and say it is not going to implement the ball rollback. Most players spoke out against the change, and the Tour itself released a statement that said, basically, yeah we’re gonna fact check all this.

The Tour is clearly enjoying this heater it’s on that has it closer to in perception to the USGA and Augusta National than it has been in many years. So it’s not inconceivable that the Tour actually would tell the majors that it is not going down that reduced-flight path. This would obviously be a bit of a disaster for the sport.

But the bigger disaster — especially from a PR standpoint — is this hypothetical for the Tour: You choose to say to no to the major organizations on a reduced-flight ball, but your best, most marketable superstar, the guy intent on propping up your business in the middle of its biggest crisis in years, uses it in your events anyway, thus completely negating the importance of your league and its events.

Is Rory actually going to use a reduced-flight ball at places like Riv and Phoenix and Bay Hill with $20M and a bunch of titles on the table? I highly doubt it. But if you’re the Tour, can you afford to call that bluff? I don’t think you can.

Succession and power and such.

Overheard on Twitter

“Picasso,” the woman said. “It only took you thirty seconds to draw this little masterpiece.” “My good woman,” Picasso said, “It took me thirty years to draw that masterpiece in thirty seconds.” -Nathan Baugh (and many others)

It’s a great quote with about 1,000 life lessons.

Media Diet

👉️ Joel Beall on Augusta National’s future was pretty incredible. Surely I am the first person to recommend this piece.

👉️ The Data Golf major vs. non-major piece is always worth a revisit around major time. The Tiger line is lol.

👉️ Justin Ray on what it takes to win at ANGC should not be very surprising, but it is quite good.

👉️ This thread from Jamie Kennedy on the top five shots you enjoy at ANGC is awesome. More great questions like this!

👉️ This thread on a bunch of statistics you probably aren’t paying attention to is wild.

👉️ Bama Bearcat’s look at how the Masters began is predictably excellent.

The Infirmary

True sicko behavior within the golf community.

This week’s is a pretty simple, straightforward text from a buddy the other day that made me laugh when I got it. Here’s what it said …

“Nicolai Højgaard was in my dream last night …. Something is wrong with me.”

This one also got me good.

By the Numbies

5: There are a million unfathomable Tiger Woods stats, and this one is up there. The Masters tracks leads and co-leads after the first three rounds. Arnold Palmer has the most with 14. Some of those came in the same event, obviously, so he might lead after Round 1 and Round 2 of a Masters, and that would be two of the 14. Palmer went on to win four Masters.

Jack led or co-led 13 times after one of the first three rounds. He won six Masters. Spieth (!) has led or co-led after one of the first three rounds eight times. He’s won one Masters although that can’t possibly be correct I will email ANGC after I send this newsletter and tell them about their error.

Tiger? He’s led or co-led after one of the first three rounds five times.

He’s won five Masters.

☕️☕️☕️ 

Flagged

Quotes worth thinking about.

It's difficult because you've just got to trust your hand. I remember talking to Tiger about it all the time. Like how did you make the changes? He goes, I just trusted my hands out there, even though he changed his swing.” -Jason Day

Day said this last week after Match Play, and I thought it was such a cool way to think about, well, anything, any job, any craft, anything you’re building. I will continue to work in the private darkness, yes, but when the spotlight turns on, all I have is trust.

 Meme of the Week

I want to set the record straight here. From the desk of Kyle Goodwin Porter, let me officially announce that I could not be more pro-Uncrustables. We had them in our media snack area at Phoenix this year, and I may have eaten 10+ over five days. I did find it amusing, though, that even with $6M and the biggest title of his life on the table in Austin, this is what a pro would turn to. Uncrustables remain undefeated.

Burns, by the way, shot his own best ball 56 at Austin Country Club across two rounds on the final day. Elmo fire gif.

Masters Draft

My family had its annual Masters draft/pizza party last night. The participants and the draft order.

1. Jack (age 6)
2. Hannah (age 10)
3. Jude (age 9)
4. Dad (me)
5. Mom (my wife)
6. Sadie (3, a menace)

Here’s how the draft played out, and buddy the kids enjoyed me reading the commentary from those who were dialed on Twitter.

My wife’s LIV troll job was amusing until she started getting steep on the OWGR (which she knows nothing about) and why it should be abolished. The kids wanted to eject after that.

Also: I have since been informed that Paul Casey is not in this year’s event and have personally assigned Abraham Ancer to my wife’s team.

Thanks, Phil

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